Podcast Episode #8 - with Kyle Loretelli

Kyle Loretelli

Sales Account Executive

SHOW NOTES

Loosening Your Grip to Lead with Confidence

In this conversation, Kyle Loretelli shares his journey from a successful baseball career to a leadership role in sales. He discusses the internal battles leaders face, the assumptions that lead to isolation, and the importance of collaboration and vulnerability. Kyle emphasizes the need to release control, be present, and build authentic relationships in both leadership and sales. He also highlights the significance of active listening and mindset shifts for effective leadership, concluding with the importance of daily rituals for grounding and self-care.

TRANSCRIPT

Roger (00:35)

All right. Welcome to the No More Carbon Copies podcast. Excited to have Kyle Loretelli with us today. Kyle, thanks for joining the podcast. For those of you who don't know Kyle, let me just say Kyle had a very successful baseball career, even did a stint in the minors and now has pivoted

sales role. So for almost 15 years in various leadership roles and

really excited to have Kyle here today. I had the privilege of knowing Kyle for the past few years and really excited to have this conversation. So Kyle, welcome.

Kyle Loretelli (01:09)

Hey, thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate you, man, and your leadership.

Roger (01:14)

as we jump into this, what we like to do on this podcast is have conversations about the topic of leadership generally.

so today we're going to have conversation

some of the things that leaders struggle with or some of the things that cause them to maybe sabotage themselves a little bit. So let's start off talking about the internal mind, the internal kind of dialogue that happens for leaders that sometimes they may not even be aware of, but it really impacts them in a certain way. So whether it's your experience personally or

with other folks, talk to me about some of the ways that internal mental battles affect us if we're not aware of them.

Kyle Loretelli (01:50)

You know, I think for me, those types of battles, those internal battles can really start to isolate you as a leader. one thing that I experienced over the years is almost this constant mental overdrive

kind of overthinking everything, conversations, decisions, emails, should I do this, should I do that? And ultimately taking a lot of that information and just not talking through it with other individuals, feeling like I needed to have all the answers.

Roger (02:21)

So you're talking about being in your own head and being isolated and thinking through all your decisions, all the things that you're dealing with, but do it in isolation.

Kyle Loretelli (02:30)

Absolutely. Yeah, doing it in isolation because in leadership, we have this, this feeling at times where we should have the answers to everything. so you start to question your own capabilities at times when you start to do that, because you're overthinking decisions rather than just acting.

because you wanna have so much control of the outcomes, which a lot of times we don't have control of that. And it just, what it starts to do, what I notice is it starts to truly suffocate you. It starts to take the strengths that you actually really do have and it starts to minimize those strengths.

Which then in turn, you're just very, very limited in your effectiveness in what you're doing or who you're leading. All because of this idea of like, man, I should have the answer. I don't, let me go try to figure out more information. And then it becomes this paralysis by analysis eventually to me leading to burnout.

Roger (03:30)

So overdrive, overthinking, then the assumption that other people think you already should have all the answers. And so you deal with things kind of in a vacuum. I think that's an interesting assumption. You stepped into leadership. And so you assume that you should have all the answers, which ends up

which ends up kind of making your world smaller rather than your options bigger. what are some of those assumptions? What are some of those things that you see that either yourself or other leaders you've worked with, what do you think some of those assumptions are that cause folks to become isolated?

Kyle Loretelli (04:08)

you know, as you start to go up the, know, as you start to get promotions and you start to get into bigger roles within your organization, there becomes this level of kind of expectancy of yourself of like, okay, I need to know this. The pressure becomes greater. you're, put into more moments, you know, when I first started with the company that I started with in 2010, after my baseball career,

everybody around me was helping me kind of do everything. And then I think as you grow into that role where now you're that person, you forget about all the things that you did really well to help you get there. And it's almost like you try to mask and now think about all these new strategies and ways to lead people to do stuff. So I think a lot of those assumptions...

really for me, it was this mind game of like, gosh, am I enough? Can I do this job? Like it was all these comparison, anxiety disguised as being driven. These were all these things that I was dealing with. It was this internal pressure to constantly perform. So for me, was never, it was,

It was always about it never being enough, man, in, being in sales, that is a very common thing. Right. we, we hit a goal and then it's you're all we're talking five minutes later about, all right, what are we doing in 2026? And it's like, gosh, we just hit our goal a week ago. Let's like, let's celebrate that. Let's reflect on it. Let's think about the things that help, you know, and, that's, that's consistent across most all sales organizations. And that's fine.

But I think that there's a piece of that where if we're not careful, we're constantly going to the next thing and then the next thing and the next thing. And it just kind of keeps that cycle going rather than saying, hey, what did we do? What did we do extremely well? What were some of those one to two things that we did?

really, really well that helped us and how can we replicate that this year and continue to lean into that? But I think again, we are in this culture right now where it's constant comparison. It's very easy to get sucked into that. I think especially as leaders, going back to the mask stuff we mask, I think we all mask like everything's always going well. And to me, I feel like living proof of myself.

I know what that feels like to make it look like it is, and I know most leaders are truly struggling through that.

Roger (06:39)

Yeah.

it's interesting because you talked about isolation and then when you talked about that idea of looking back or celebrating, you're like, what are the things that WE did? Which is interesting that you switched to WE when you were talking about isolation. So it seems like in health, you're like, hey, it's a WE we're talking about, WE did this together. But the tendency is for you and for me and for a lot of people is to get, is to think about I, what am I doing?

am I proving myself? How am I making sure I don't look like I'm incompetent or like I don't know the answers? And so that's interesting the way that you use the word WE, pivoted from the word I. How do you maintain that idea of WE in the role that you have right now, your organization? How have you learned? What disciplines have you learned to try to?

Kyle Loretelli (07:17)

Yeah.

Roger (07:35)

not be as isolated as you have in the past.

Kyle Loretelli (07:39)

You know, I think 2023 was probably when I hit the ceiling of gosh, I've been operating like this for, for 12 years and I hit, what I would consider in my career, a very marker moment of my career. And, it was a burnout moment. It was a moment of like, gosh, I cannot keep operating like this.

for 10, 15, 20 more years. And what that was, and I mentioned this earlier, is that was this, people saw me as this driver and truly inside I was stressed out of my mind. I was anxious all the time. For me now, here's what this looks like. When I start to feel those same feelings,

of anxiety, of stress, feeling like, gosh, I'm not thinking clearly. My brain's foggy. I'm like, dude, I'm not operating very effectively right now. It's the awareness of knowing that that's starting to happen and triggering that I need to bring other people into this. Because what I realized through this process is that when we start to do that, we start to realize there are so many other people.

that are aspiring leaders, leading companies that are doing those things that are in the exact same boat. It's the fact that a lot of us.

I think are just afraid to talk about it, to go back to the other point of like, because we're all in one way, or form comparing ourselves to the next person. Is that going to show weakness? If I go and have that conversation, some of the most rich conversations I've had in the last two years working through this process is bringing those people in and, and, and being able to learn from those people and me walking out of those conversations and feeling like, man, I, I was able to bring something to that conversation that helped

that person. So I think this is where this this WE conversation. So when you think about leading a team, I found again going from this isolation of feeling like the leader, I need to have it all together, bringing my team more into those conversations created this level not only of trust of I mean, it humanizes you as a leader to your people. It builds your culture.

It makes you as a leader not feel so isolated. truly it took a lot of this hidden exhaustion that I was feeling and I was feeling it behind this just like productivity. got to do it all myself to this different level of joy of like, this is why I want to lead. This is why I'm in the role that I'm in or this is why I'm aspiring to be in this role.

because those lessons learned over the last two to three years for me are things that man, they're very common. People deal with that stuff all the time. And I'm finally starting to grasp what it feels like on the other side.

Roger (10:39)

Yeah, well, you said a lot there. so I want to follow up on

what you said was this idea that you're having conversations and saying hey, some people may actually respond to this as thinking you're weak, or some of them may respond to your vulnerability or admission that you're struggling as being a weakness. But it sounds like it's been the opposite of that. It sounds like as you've had conversations with people about, hey, these places that I have all the answers or I am struggling, it sounds like

the

responses you've gotten from people have been different than "you're weak" and been more like, hey, "yeah, let's have more conversations about this because me too, me too. I am as well." Have you ever had anybody who has responded negatively to that sense of, hey, let's talk about the places that I'm struggling or hey, can I get your opinion on this or can you help me out?

Kyle Loretelli (11:28)

No, no, again, it's been the complete opposite. And I think, I think if I could sum it up into a phrase around, like, when I look at three years ago, Kyle, who was operating like that for 12 years to where I'm at now, and mind you now, I'm back kind of in this producer sales role.

but the, the, the term leadership has changed. I never looked at leadership like I do now. Right. I, I'm in a sales role. have peers that I work with. but I have that opportunity every single day to go in and lead other salespeople, other people that work side by side with me currently right now. And I think that if I could sum it into one phrase, what has changed is the release of control.

has changed everything. And I'm going to throw the control word in there because I think that what, what I was doing to mask some of the stuff previously is I was the ultimate planner, micromanager of my own self, of my own expectations of what I needed to create. Because I felt like if I can write the perfect strategy and the perfect to-do list and the perfect this, and here's my goals, if I could do that well enough, I'd feel good about myself for a short minute.

But what it was creating was this anxiety of, you know, they talk about anxiety, right? Your, your fight or flight or your, is just freeze, right? I was a freezer. I was like, gosh, I can come up with the best plan.

But dude, man, I was afraid to go operate and execute on those plans because it took way too much time to do all the things. I didn't have enough extra time in my day. so there was this aspect of just releasing control that I had to learn some very valuable techniques that I'm still working on to this day. I mean, it's, it's like these daily habits of I got 30 things on my to-do list. And actually 25 of those really aren't that important. Let's focus on these five.

I mean, that's a daily, daily thing. so releasing control and what it allowed me to do as a leader that has changed everything or just as a person, Roger, like is it, it's allowed me to be present. And when I'm present, the strengths, the things that, that I have that are unique to me actually aren't being suffocated and they get to come out.

Roger (13:46)

so that concept of the idea of showing up, being present and then having your natural ability show up with you is kind of just relaxing into that. And then and you naturally perform versus the idea of the anxiety of having everything under your thumb.

and constantly being anxious about how you show up, about what other people think, about getting everything done, about following the perfect thing. When you're thinking about that, it distracts you from actually the place that you are, the interaction that you're currently having and what makes you effective in that.

Kyle Loretelli (14:23)

Yeah, it's the shifting of like constantly striving, to just being present and just allowing again, releasing the control of the outcomes. Cause again, I can have a sales goal for the year 2026. I can have that if I'm sitting and just ruminating on all the things that I need to be doing and I'm thinking about that goal constantly

Ultimately, the only control I have of hitting that goal is, is, is living out a process of what, Hey, what is it going to take? What are the three to five things that I need to be doing? Very disciplined, consistent day to day. That's the stuff to focus on. Right. It's like, if I, if I have a, if I have an employee that is trying to hit a sales goal, it is, is driving the behaviors that are going to help them get to that goal.

But it's not just putting that pressure of you need to hit that goal. need to hit that. So it's, it is a lot different when you start to release like, I'm confident. If we do this, if we do this well, we're going have a good shot. And then just kind of releasing that and playing a little bit more free. I mean, when I take it back to baseball,

You know, being able to draw these parallel, these lines to sports has been very helpful for me. when I was, when I was at my best playing baseball, you know, you hear baseball terms of like not gripping the bat, playing loose. It's the same thing in business. It's the exact same thing. When I was at my best in baseball in my career, it was

It was being in those big moments where I couldn't control. We had runners at first and second. I couldn't control whether or not I was going to hit that runner in from second, but I could trust the process and the time and the work that I put in to go into the batter's box and be like, I've got this. And then let the outcomes kind of take care of themselves.

Roger (16:14)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, so many more things we could talk about in terms of

those sports analogies that you practice, you put in all this work now relax and perform versus bring the anxiety in there of like, must achieve X. One of the things I go back to this is a little bit of a pivot, but not much. I think we'll go back to it is one of the things I've heard you say that you do even in sales is, you know, you're going to a sales meeting and

and you're having a lunch with someone and you go in and instead of just selling or do whatever, you kind of like put that on the back burner and you're having a human to human conversation. And then have a great year, right? Like talk to me about that mental process, how you shifted from being like, hey, I'm going to network and do all the activity I need to do to sell versus, hey, I'm going to go be a human with a human.

Kyle Loretelli (17:05)

Yeah. you know, I think there's a, there's a lot of people that could do what I do. Selling wise. I can take, I can take 20, 30 salespeople and go teach them all the material of the specific things that we sell. and over time we would all, if we all spoke the same way, we would all sound the same. To me.

that puts me in a box and makes my competition much greater. What's unique to every individual is them specifically, right? So what I have found in sales is the best, the most successful years if I was to reflect back, whether leading a team or being in sales, it was the years that

I didn't try to over-manufacture conversations. And that doesn't mean I'm not up-skilling on the back end. That doesn't mean I'm not progressing certain leadership traits. That doesn't mean I'm not doing that stuff. That just means when I get in the moment, I'm not thinking about all of these things.

I hit off the T in baseball, right? Let's say I take a couple hundred swings on a Monday. Well, Tuesday's game rules around, I'm not thinking, when I walk into the box, I'm not thinking about all my mechanics. I'm keeping my mind as simple as possible and I'm trying to be as relaxed as I can. So when you talk about conversations,

When I'm in front of a potential customer, man, my best asset is going to be myself, is going to be building trust in relationships with the person across the table from me. And we may not talk business at all, but what I found is, some of my best relationships over the 15 years have been people, some of them I've never done business with, but some of them have turned into some of the best business.

relationships ever and it started with just getting to know them as a person and being able to let my guard down a little bit even in the beginning,

building trust by being a little bit more vulnerable from the beginning with like, hey, I'm a human too and I know you are, and this is, right? And it's just having those conversations where I feel like we have lost sight of the value. And that unfortunately starts to feed into this, I've gotta be a certain person.

And it's like, no, you, gotta, you gotta just be yourself. And if you could do that really well, you, not only play more loose, you, you, you work with more joy. Um, and it, dude, that is life. That, that to me is, that's the way that this was, this was meant to be. and I think that that for me over the, over the years, learning that my true authentic self.

Being who I am has has led me to more opportunities than when I was trying to be somebody that I wasn't.

Roger (20:04)

Yeah, I think so.

One of the things that I think we've talked about is just that that different mindset. And for so many years, I myself and I see a lot of people do it is they go, oh, I'm aspiring. so I'm to choose someone who I think or a few people that I want to be like, and I'm going to try to as much as I can be them. I'm going to become I'm going to squeeze myself into the mold that that I see as being successful.

In the process, lose that idea of authenticity. You lose like being yourself. So you don't show up with all of your with all your skill set. You're showing up and you're performing and pretending to be like these people who are are different than you, but are.

are successful and you want to be like. And so what you're talking about is, forget that. really just show up and be yourself and do the job, the same job somebody else is doing. It's a sales job, it's a sales job. But the way that the next salesperson is going to do it is going to be different than the way you do it because...

because you're relying on your, what I say conscious competence, you're relying on the things that you are conscious of that you know you do really well and not pretending or trying to be someone who is not you.

Kyle Loretelli (21:19)

that's it.

going back to some of the control stuff it's very easy, as you know, as a leader to kind of to get into your own head and you're expecting this specific outcome to come from this meeting you have in 30 minutes. and because of that, you're going into this conversation with this expectation.

And if it doesn't happen, you're now questioning why and this. Rather than taking that 30 minutes prior in preparation to calm yourself, to kind of figure out, how do I go in there and release control of what's going to happen? just how do I best prepare myself to go in and do what I know to do best? how do I just relax and be myself going into this conversation with this employee?

you know, so I think it's just a shift for me, it was just a shift in mindset of, of what's going to happen is going to happen. And, and I think if I can prepare myself differently than being so consumed about man, need to lock this deal up or man, I want that employee to walk out of the office feeling inspired or when I started to like, get away from

that it freed me up and it allowed me in those conversations to be more adaptive, to be a better listener, to be more present, which ultimately made me more effective and then closed more deals.

Roger (22:40)

Yeah,

I'm reflecting back on a conversation I had earlier this week. You talk about that. hey, boy, that's me. So earlier this week, I had a conversation, networking conversation, kind of trying to see kind of what might come of it. And I was so stressed coming into it that I was like, oh, I've got to prove my chops. I've got to prove myself in this. So my focus was on how do I how do I impress this person that's on the phone? And so all my focus was on me. It was a train wreck. The conversation

was a train wreck. I was stressed. I didn't listen well, didn't ask good questions, wasn't present in the moment and talked too much, all those kind of things. And I realized coming out of it, that's exactly what you're just talking about. The perspective being on me and being on my anxiety about how I come off. And it derailed the conversation because I wasn't open to where that individual I was talking to wanted to go, what they were interested in, what they really struggled with. I didn't even... And so I missed the

Kyle Loretelli (23:33)

That's right.

Roger (23:37)

opportunity.

Contrast that with a conversation I had another couple days ago where I went in and was like, oh, I think this is going to go in this direction. But let's make sure. And all of a sudden it went to a much different direction with a much bigger opportunity because I was more open. so I have these two recent experiences of what you just talked about.

Kyle Loretelli (24:02)

Yeah, it's like leading from confidence and preparation in the process that you've already put into place. It's leading from that, leading from more of a restful state compared to leading from fear. And it brings me back when I started in sales in 2012, ⁓ I can remember one of the first meetings I ever had, and I went in there with a to-do list, very similar to what you just said.

because I wanted to control the outcome so bad, had a list of like 20 questions. And here, mind you, I'm going into a conversation to, to discover and understand what the business problems are so I can provide a solution. And we've got multiple solutions in the world that I'm in. So it's really hard to do that, to go in with this agenda. And what happened is bullet point two that I had, the conversation went in a completely different direction and I was, and I froze.

rather than, you know, going in there with an approach more around like, I need to ask maybe one or two really good questions to see what they want to talk about, So it's a very different mindset and a very different approach. it's one that I think fear stops us from doing that a lot of times because

deep down inside, a lot of us aren't as confident in ourselves as we portray ourselves to be. And we feel like, Hey, well, if they take it in this direction, or if they say this or, but I haven't ever been in a conversation. feel like where, you know, it's like, Hey, if I don't have the answer, sometimes that's the, that's it. It's just being honest of saying, Hey, I don't, I don't know that answer, but I can get you that answer. And

And that's never to me has never lost me an opportunity or a deal. But, yet in the back of your head, sometimes you, we, again, we have this expectation of we've got to know everything.

Roger (25:50)

So you just triggered a thought in my mind about what I've noticed about myself and that is when I'm in a hurry.

and I want to do something quickly is when I tend to have the least effective or productive conversations because I'm trying to run through something. And even as to take an example from parenting. most leaders are parents. There's a sense of like, we talk a lot about our kids. I learn a lot about myself from my parenting and my parenting failures. And so I just had an experience the other day. One of my kids said one thing.

that what they said was the complete and total picture. And so I reacted, went in to talk to the other child and didn't even listen, didn't ask any questions, wasn't curious and just kind of said, like, assumed I knew everything and totally got it wrong. And it's not that the one child was being dishonest. said I didn't really understand the perspective of the other child. And when I think about that related to related to, you know, the business world is when I assume that I already know what someone is dealing with and what their problems are and the things that are causing them, things that they're

concerned about today when I assume I know those and I just start talking as though I know those the wall just gets put up and it be in the there's a huge disconnect. ⁓ And again, it's not that we're not trying to sell. It's not that we're not trying to be productive. We're not trying to be effective. We're not trying to do to to to add value in the world. It's that our approach is is not ⁓ as staccato. It's not as one sided. It's there's a sense of of

Kyle Loretelli (26:59)

Absolutely.

Roger (27:16)

of much more human engagement.

Kyle Loretelli (27:18)

I mean, that's, that's it. And, and I, and I think that you can't prepare enough for that stuff changes every single, every single day. between every interaction you have. So this is going back again to outcomes. It's like,

My today's going to look different than yesterday did with the conversation I have with this employee in 30 minutes compared to the one I had yesterday at nine o'clock. It's just going to look different and I think that this is where like the active listening and the, the, in the playing a little bit more loose. this audible ready sense compared to I need to have it all figured out. and, and for me, lot of the

A lot of the anxiety started to go away when that started to happen. Now it creeps back a lot, but it's like, man, the awareness of knowing why that's happening and being able to sit and reflect and be like, you know what?

I'm trying to manufacture the outcome. I'm overthinking this. I'm over planning this. My day was going in this direction and now it's going in this direction. You know what? It's because like, gosh, I feel like a failure now because it's not going in the direction that I said that it was going to go in today. mean, it's like all of that stuff challenges us as leaders. And I think the most effective ones.

are the ones that ultimately become very aware of how they self-sabotage themselves and are able to not be perfect, but something that maybe took them three hours to get out of their head now takes them 30 minutes.

Roger (28:49)

yeah, that's my experience too, that both for myself and for the folks that I work with, the volume never gets turned 100 % down on those voices that are in our head

communicate negativity to us or communicate failure to us or shame or whatever. Those voices never go away. So we have to have the disciplines to remind ourselves regularly what's true. And whether it's I know I know you've done you've done this in the past. I've done it. having a morning ritual where you're reminding yourself, hey, here's what I'm about. Here's what I'm doing. Here's how grounded I am. you know, Brene Brown talks about talks about being grounded.

Kyle Loretelli (29:04)

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Roger (29:27)

And that concept of just being grounded on your foundation to me means a lot to me. And so daily reminding myself, here's the foundation you stand on.

speak and engage with people from this foundation and release demand or the control like you're talking about. And what I find is better things happen. Like my imagination is not even good enough.

Kyle Loretelli (29:51)

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Well, and I have one quick example of, again, this is where we're going to never get to a point to where it's like, man, I've got it all figured out.

Right? I think as a leader for a long time, I thought that that was that was the case. Like where I'm like, gosh, I'm just not there yet. And in one day, it's just going to click. And then all of a sudden, all my problems are going to be gone. It's like, no, what happened was I started to become uber aware of, like I said, how I self sabotage myself,

how I could listen better in specific conversations or I can listen for the specific needs of this client in this conversation or this employee and to relate it to personal stuff like kids, right? Good example was this morning and you can take this and look at this as like leading an office of 30, 40 people.

I've got my routine, my morning stuff and the last three days have been great. I will wake up early. I've got an hour of like just quietness for myself. Kids are still sleeping. No, no distractions. This morning I woke up a little later. I woke up, ready to still engage in my stuff and read and do the things. kids got up earlier.

So all of a sudden I found myself with this kind of performance, like I got to get through this because I know it starts my day to all these disruptions and then all this kind of shame of like, ⁓ you should have got up earlier. you didn't do this. All this stuff started triggering. I got to a point where I'm like, no, this was, this was meant to happen exactly how it's happening right now.

Like my kids are up, they need my attention. What are their needs right now? and think about as when employees, when things happen throughout the day and you're leading a group of people and I'm like, gosh, I gotta get in my office. gotta, but, man, there's, there's this employee that needs something in a moment and it disrupts everything in that moment for you. I think a lot of us spiral. mean, I was already, I was spiraling this morning at first and then I caught it and I'm like, no, this is not, it's not about.

all of this right now. Like it's about this moment with my daughter or my son who just needs some attention to understand what they're going through this morning so that I can help empower them to go do what they need to do today. Like it's those moments and those examples hit me. ⁓ I feel like that's where it doesn't end, but what's cool about this is when you start to see this stuff,

That's what to me, what life is all about. It's like, you're gonna have these highs and you're gonna have these lows and you're gonna have these breakthrough moments where for me this morning, that was a little breakthrough moment because me four or five years ago would have probably allowed that disruption to hijack half, if not the rest of my day, which ultimately hijacks all the people I come into contact.

Roger (32:50)

Yeah, that gets back to that the idea of trying to micromanage or control everything about your about your day about your activity and then you know life happens things happen they throw you off and and all of a sudden you're off that track and You just punt the whole day and restart tomorrow. No, You've got to be able to hold it with an open hand and go. yeah, I can plan No one's saying not to plan. I can plan

Kyle Loretelli (33:09)

Yeah.

Roger (33:17)

But I also know mentally there's going to be interruptions and I got to show up. I got to got to ask the question of how can I be a blessing or how can I help the in these interruptions? Yeah.

Kyle Loretelli (33:26)

That's it.

Roger (33:29)

I love the concepts of relaxing, trusting your preparation, not being so stressed, and trying to be controlling, and just being present with people, being present to have conversations, to look at what they need.

super helpful. And the idea that our mental thoughts sabotage us and becoming aware. So last question for you, what is it? What's the most helpful thing that you do what's a ritual that you do to to remind yourself or put yourself at ease when you're thinking about minimizing the amount of self sabotage that that has happened in the past and

And what do you do?

Kyle Loretelli (34:07)

Yeah, I so I would say over the last probably year and a half, I've gotten extremely disciplined in just my morning routine. And morning routine being just giving myself space to have silence, to have a quiet moment.

⁓ and that over the year, or, you know, over the year, I guess has, has become that grounding space for me to, to really center me on, a lot of the things we're talking about, like it's not to go wake up and plan out my day for the whole day. It's not to create more of that stress and anxiety. It's like, it's like, no, I'll get to that.

this is the, the, the time that I block aside to just get up and, be silent to read, to pray, to, think about, you know, how, how can I release control today? Hey, man, my, my identity is not based on how I perform today. Like it, like it's to ground those truths into me, so that I can go execute in my day.

Um, and, and what I found is that when I was doing that sporadically, it wasn't, it just wasn't enough because again, you don't figure this out and then all of a sudden all your problems are gone. That would be really easy. It's hard work. And, and, and I think the, the, biggest advice that I can give to people would be, taking care of you first. Right? So me in the morning, that's me.

taking care of my needs and the things that I need first have a lasting impact on how my day ends up going. So I would say make time for yourself. And I have four young kids. So I've got a 12 year old all the way down to a three year old. So in order to create that time, it's like, and today I told you it was disrupted, but in most days it's not because I'm trying to get to bed early and wake up at a very early hour so I can get that time in.

Roger (36:13)

Yeah, yeah, love that. Take the time to reground yourself in who you are so that you can actually show up and be you and not be just be reactive. ⁓ Yeah, love it.

Kyle Loretelli (36:22)

That's right.

Roger (36:25)

Well, Kyle, thanks for joining us on the podcast. Really appreciate it. And for those for those who are curious about Kyle, go check out his his LinkedIn. Kyle is one of the one of the folks I I just I love your heart. I love the way that you pursue life. I love the way that you you go after your ambition. And I love that that you're embracing who you are. So thanks for ⁓ sharing.

the path with me in life and thanks for joining us on the podcast. really appreciate it.

Kyle Loretelli (36:55)

Yeah, thanks for having me.